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SMALL TOWN BIG MOUTHS PODCAST
Navigating Dating, Single Parenthood Challenges with Guest Frankie
If a man wants to, he will"—but does this phrase really hold water in today's dating world? Join us as we, Nikki and Amber, sit down with our guest Frankie to take a closer look at the fine line between genuine effort and mere excuses in relationships. Frankie opens up about the pressures men face when initiating contact and the often unforgiving landscape of modern dating. We also delve into the female perspective on social media interactions that lack depth and the complexities of balancing a digital presence with meaningful personal connections.
Dating as a single parent brings its own set of challenges, from managing childcare and work to the emotional stakes of introducing new partners to children, particularly those with special needs. With insights from our listeners, we explore how modern trends like the "fuck boy" mentality disrupt the pursuit of meaningful relationships. We emphasize the critical role of support systems and the appreciation needed to foster mutual respect, ensuring that both parties are committed to balancing personal growth with parental responsibilities.
Navigating the world of dating with past baggage and societal stereotypes adds another layer of complexity, especially for professions like bartending. We examine the fine line between being sociable and the misconceptions that follow, highlighting the need for secure partners who can appreciate the nuances of such roles. Our conversation also touches on the role of zodiac signs in shaping our interactions, offering a light-hearted exploration of how astrological beliefs can influence perceptions. Through the episode, we encourage listeners to maintain a sense of self-worth, seek partners who support their aspirations, and embrace both the spontaneous and planned moments that enrich our lives.
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We accept ALL questions and feedback!
Welcome back to Small Town Big Mouths. This is Nikki, your resident bartender.
Speaker 2:And this is, amber, your one and only. And today we have a new guest. His name is Frankie.
Speaker 1:Hi Frankie.
Speaker 2:He's a little nervous. It's okay, we're not going to bite you, man, we'll find out.
Speaker 1:Amber might.
Speaker 2:I might bite you. Steer clear. He knows me, he knows I won't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a lot of bite marks everywhere Not on me, but certain individuals.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not from me.
Speaker 3:Only on Niner fans.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, hey, calm down, okay. So today we're going to talk about a topic that we had posted about, and it is if a man wants to, will he, and I'm going to start off by saying how do you distinguish between effort and excuses? Frankie, do you want to jump right in and go ahead and tell us your opinion on? Well, wait first.
Speaker 1:Frankie, are you single? Yes, okay, I think that's important because I feel like when you're married it's different. I don't know.
Speaker 3:I feel like a single person. You have more of a opinion on certain things well.
Speaker 1:I feel like when you're single, you're making more of an effort. Yeah, yeah okay, so what was the question?
Speaker 2:I'm sorry so what's the difference between effort and excuses when you're dating somebody, whether an excuse this could be for a man or a woman dating, and how do you feel about the role of? If a man wants to, he will, because a lot of days that's what women are saying, because a man should take initiative when dating.
Speaker 3:I feel like a lot of women are speaking on men, a lot Talking about like they don't put a lot of effort or a lot of action into trying to make something happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But I feel like it's kind of hard for men to do that, because it's easy for a woman to like reject them or not show a lot of effort and it doesn't hurt for a woman to, you know, to do the same thing. You know we're past the 21st century, like pass away that. So I feel like a woman could do a little bit more effort so you're saying the women aren't putting in effort either.
Speaker 1:It's like women.
Speaker 3:It's a new age street not a woman, but yeah they. They are expecting more yeah, like they're takers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like I, even have high, high expectations right, and especially when you're leaving the door open for other people to kind of date you or get to know you. Um, it is hard. I feel like if I don't hear from somebody I'm talking to, like maybe they've had a busy day, but I don't feel bad about sending a text and saying, hey, like, how's your day, hope it's been great or whatever it may be even if, like they don't, they get it but they don't reply.
Speaker 3:And the day goes on and you don't hear from them, even though you're, like you know, hope your day's going good, you're, you're still showing effort, that you're learning to know, like you're you're thinking about them at that moment you know Right. And to me it's been back in my head never too busy that's how I mean everybody has their phones on them you're never too busy to at least shoot a text back.
Speaker 1:It takes a few seconds yeah, it's really annoying, though, like when you're friends with them or you know them or you see them on facebook or instagram or whatever, and they're online but they're not. You know what I mean. Obviously, you're not too busy to be online on facebook, on whatever, but you're too busy to, like, shoot me a text or ask me what I'm doing or see if I'm okay.
Speaker 2:Well, I kind of have something to say about that, because somebody told me that they're like oh, you're already up and on social media, but you can't text me good morning or whatever, and I'm like, I'm just opening my eyes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's a little much.
Speaker 2:And I was just like that was. That was like, yeah, you just pushed me away a little further. So I mean I get it, because I've seen guys be on social media and then like not respond or whatever, and I'm just like I try to remember how I feel in situations like that, so they're going to respond when they're, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, and I try and remember too. Like I fall asleep all the time with my phone in my hand so like I could look like I'm online when I'm really not, because I'm literally I've. I have fallen asleep with my fucking thumb on something and like I wake up and I'm like what the hell, what, what did I just buy something? Like I have to like make sure I didn't buy something, or like text someone, or like something that I didn't want to like. You know what I mean, because I'm bad.
Speaker 2:So so you don't think there's really any excuse not to like if you're dating someone, you've gone on a few dates, you're interested, she's showing she's interested, and then maybe a day go by, goes by and there's no communication. Do you think there's an excuse for that?
Speaker 3:There shouldn't be no excuse for communication. There should always be a communication Because, I mean, I personally always see and I was dealt with past where it's always like, man, you're not communicating with me about this or you're not replying quick or what are you doing? That's constantly busy. It's like there always has to be a legitimate reason. You know that you're not capable to reach out back to them when they're expecting it. You know on time. You know you could be busy at work. Yeah, you could be busy at work and you can't get to your phone. Maybe you have kids, also single parent, and even though the partner knows that you're a single parent, you're doing everything on your own alone. You're gonna be constantly busy doing duties are you a single parent?
Speaker 3:yes, I am okay, so you probably deal with this a lot, yeah, in your dating life yeah, I I gone through situations where it's like I see a lot of women that they have high expectations, but they say it, but their actions doesn't. I don't see, it Doesn't reflect no, yeah, no. And then when I'm like reaching out or you know, just like I said, like you know they don't respond back, and then I say, like you could like shoot another text later on, like I hope you're having a good day. You know we didn't get to talk. They see us like you're bugging or being annoying. It's like no, like we like each other supposedly.
Speaker 2:Like why aren't you?
Speaker 3:responding. What's going on, that you know that you're not keeping up matching the same level, because I see a lot of like oh well, guys nowadays don't have these certain things, um, text fast, reply fast, whatever it's like when you have that you're not taking a bet, you're not paying attention to that, right, you know and then also, I think, going into new relationships or not even relationships dating um.
Speaker 2:In the beginning it's always like call or text right away and then like it kind of it papers off?
Speaker 1:yeah it does.
Speaker 3:It's always like the first two days, second day, how it is? You're constantly just having a big conversation.
Speaker 1:It just dies out well, so that that is like a good. Do you believe in the chase, or is that a convenient excuse for being lazy in a relationship?
Speaker 2:I mean it's like the honeymoon phase, right?
Speaker 1:It is Well, that's what they call it the honeymoon phase. Because it's like you're you know, when you're on your honeymoon, everything's great. So, like when you're first dating someone, everything's great when you're first talking to them and then, like you said, it fizzles out. So is that just like people like the chase?
Speaker 2:And then once they acquire whatever it is they're chasing, that they're just, they're done. I mean, I, I've been like that before we're like I may not even really be interested in somebody that much. But I'm like trying and then as soon as like I catch, I'm like okay it's catch and release yeah, catch and release. Smash and dash, whatever, no, catch and release. Yeah, catch and release.
Speaker 1:Smash and dash whatever. No catch and release, Not even smashing and dashing, I'm just joking, so you just stay fishing then huh.
Speaker 2:No, I want to be in love. I do, I really do. But I think it's going to take somebody very strong-headed to be able to deal with all the stuff that I have going on and understand. I mean, I'm a good communicator, so even if I have a bunch of stuff going on, like I'm not afraid to send a text, like my phone's right here, there's no reason why I can't. If I'm going into podcasting, like hey, I'm recording from whatever, whatever, like I'll hit you later, I just feel like there's no really reason not to communicate. I think what happens is we have options and it's so easy that maybe they're still on the dating site, you know, maybe there's somebody else in their inbox. I mean, who?
Speaker 1:knows, you don't know, you just literally don't know, unless someone tells you.
Speaker 3:But the options thing I always see as like, if you're trying to talk and being at talking stage, make sure it's just like you. It's just that one person. I understand you want to have options, but if you and that talking stage person talking stage and then you have options on the side, you're misleading this person, because this one person could be putting all his time and effort where he could just be like you know what, just keep it and have other options.
Speaker 2:But it goes both ways.
Speaker 3:It goes both ways for sure and that's the part that kind of sucks.
Speaker 2:So here's another question when it comes down to that. So, say you meet somebody I don't know if you have done dating apps or you just meet people organically but say you, you are on a dating app and you hook up with somebody. You guys go out a couple times. When is a good time to say, hey, I'm going to hit snooze on that, I'm going to focus on you. I mean, when is the appropriate time to do something like that, or even meeting somebody organically like, hey, I'm really into you, I want to focus on this relationship.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'll start on the the first couple days, like you guys start talking, conversating, and then ends up being him or her, whoever comes up with the question first and hits him with the hey. You know what are you looking for right what are you, what's your, what's your intentions with me, and then that's where it just happens. That's that's how way you yeah, that's what I see an approach like, okay, you could talk, conversation is going good, you know, but then it's like what is really your intentions?
Speaker 2:because I don't want to be misguided on your actions yeah, all right, we're gonna um, we're gonna invite a little special guest that we have here, because Frankie came last minute and he has his son with him, so go ahead and come over here and say hello, his phone's not working, so we're going to let dad fix that.
Speaker 3:Well look at you're on TV. Francisco, you're on TV, right there, say hi.
Speaker 1:He's like I'll give it half an effort. I don't know what's going on technology yeah, technology sucks yeah, so while he's doing that. So what we were talking about was what was the the thing that you started out with?
Speaker 2:The effort or excuses.
Speaker 1:No, the thing that got this.
Speaker 2:Oh the. If a man wants to, will he yes if a man wants to, will he.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So while I was just giving him a chance to fix that. So we have some people that actually are you, frankie. Are you the Frankie on here, morales? Yeah, so Frankie said it's vice versa. If they want to, they will. 100% goes both ways. I agree with that, so let me read a couple here. I don't know how to say this name.
Speaker 1:Naj Just say Naj, a couple here uh, I don't know how to say this name nage, nage, nage, yeah, nage. I believe that if a man feels appreciated and sees the effort and it is reciprocated, then, yes, he will most certainly give back in return. However, nowadays the fuck boys mentality and the idea that men ain't shit and the I don't need a man mindset can really push a good man away. It can turn them into these bad boys, making them think why even bother? Dating has become a nightmare because marriages aren't respected anymore. That is the truth. Side pieces are seen as something to be proud of or sneaky links and lying have become the norm. It is a toxic environment and no one, whether a man or woman, wants to deal with that. This is just my personal opinion, not saying it's true of every man or woman, and this is Naj saying that.
Speaker 1:Let's see my friend Bobby Joe. If a man or woman wants to, they will. They will find a new job, get out of debt, take better care of themselves. It's a pet peeve of mine because, unfortunately, the men I've been married to didn't act this way. I had to grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically because no one else was going to do it for me. I have four kids, two minors and two adults that I had to care for. No amount of encouragement could make them better themselves for our family, so I did it myself. Now I'm so independent that I'm sure that I even recognize someone stepping in to help. What is that?
Speaker 2:really yeah, even recognize someone stepping in to help. What is that really? Yeah, I mean, I it would be crazy to actually have somebody step in and actually be like oh, I see how busy you are. Like I've been gone since eight 30 this morning. I'm not going to be home till later this this evening, so I would want somebody in my life that's like, don't worry, I got it. Like, even though my kids are independent, like it would still be nice to be like hey, like I got food for them, or just that reassurance.
Speaker 1:It's still so hard, though, because, like we're at two different levels. Like you're at a level where you have a lot going on, you have kids at home, da-da-da-da I am at a level where I can do everything I need to from home. The only time I need to leave is if I'm coming to record or if I'm going to work. I don't have a child at home. My son is an adult. He has his own child, so for me, it's like I require less of it and yet still can't find it. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's just, it's. It's until people really come together and think that you know, decide that this is, hey, what I want to jump into.
Speaker 1:We're all just kind of just shooting in a barrel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody's with everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, do you have?
Speaker 2:any experiences.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 2:Because you're a single dad, I know it's got to be hard for you.
Speaker 3:It is hard because I mean I do like me too, like hey, like come in, let's hang out, and everything. I'm like I really can't because I have my kid um, so at a certain point it just stopped.
Speaker 1:it just stops like, oh you know, come hang out, let's do something do you have help, though, so you have someone who will come over and watch your son, or somewhere to take him? That I usually do everything so how do you go to work?
Speaker 3:Well, it depends. You know what?
Speaker 1:I do have some help, Like a mom family. Some help, Some help.
Speaker 3:Like an aunt helps me.
Speaker 1:Shout out for those aunties, because I have my auntie. That helps me.
Speaker 3:I already don't have a lot of family, that helps. Sometimes there's been a gap. You know where I was unemployed. I went through like six jobs, you know, because it's hard being a single parent, especially, I mean a mom, is difficult, it's hard to for a mom, especially for a mom.
Speaker 1:But I think it's harder for a dad because it's not. That's not the norm. You know what I mean the providers. Yeah, you know know so it was hard.
Speaker 3:difficult to try to keep a job, try to find, you know, child care, and it's not easy.
Speaker 1:And I can't even imagine how much child, because I know when I, when my son was little, I my child care was almost as much as I was making it was ridiculous. Yeah, it is, it is so I can't even imagine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've just been raising it myself and I do what I have to do to manage what I can do to provide for my kid and so far I've been doing a great job, right.
Speaker 2:You started kindergarten yeah.
Speaker 1:And people have to understand when they date a single mother or single father. Whatever, your children come first. Definitely they date. It's single mother or single father?
Speaker 3:whatever your children come first, definitely first and foremost. I feel like when, um, we're talking about being busy, I see I heard I talked, you know, with people that single parents that are busy constantly, that have kids, are always busy doing things, work, taking care of kids you know, they had to get them ready for school um, you know, uh, they don't really have child care and they're in the talking stage with somebody they don't have kids and they're like they get fed up, like man, you never have time. It's like you know you have to understand that this person is constantly doing something all day and you don't know that, you don't know how it is because you don't have kids.
Speaker 1:So that leads me to this question do it is because you don't have kids? So that leads me to this question do you try and date women that have kids? Uh, yeah because it's more they understand more.
Speaker 3:Understand more yeah but um, I don't see, I see I don't have anything wrong with with um women to have kids or don't have kids right, but it probably is easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they're more understanding and they get it where women park with the kids and yeah, you know kind of hang out like that yeah
Speaker 1:but I'm trying to think when I was actually actively dating as a younger person, did I? I didn't really have like I could take my son to my aunt's house, so I didn't have that worry like I don't know what I would have done if I just didn't have it in my job. You know, I've been at the same job 25 years and it doesn't allow for that. I work at night, so he had to be somewhere.
Speaker 3:So yeah, it was kind of hard um trying to keep a job. You know it sucked I should you know, but it's not easy. It's not easy being a single parent yeah, it's definitely not.
Speaker 1:it't easy when I did it and I can't even imagine trying to do it now.
Speaker 2:Well, like for me, I really don't want to date somebody with younger kids. I mean, my youngest is 12. So you know going on 25.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you know Michaela's about to be 18. So they kind of take care of each other. But unless you're really ready to be a step parent, I don't think you should date somebody with kids, whether man or woman, because if you're dating somebody and you like them, like you're gonna, you're also being a role model for another child yeah, and also you gotta think about too, like are you ready to start all over again because the kid's small right, so you're starting all over?
Speaker 3:your kids already grown, you're going back and raising another kid, right and I'm at the age that I don't want to do that and some guys, I'm done so they're in the 40s.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and didn't like. We just met some guy that did a podcast. He was in the bar and you were talking to him and he was just going through a breakup with his girlfriend, but when I was listening to him talk about it, it sounded like she had young kids and her kid had autism.
Speaker 2:Wait, are we talking about the same?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the one that Mm hmm Did his. It was his son. Ok, his son, or her son, had autism, and so that is a whole. Nother like Now. You're just crushing this kid's whole world.
Speaker 2:Well, and you got. I mean, in a situation like that too, you've got to be really strong enough to be able to date somebody with a child.
Speaker 1:that has Right, you know autism or learning disabilities, any of those things, yeah.
Speaker 2:Whole nother ballgame.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you got to have a lot of patience for that.
Speaker 1:Right I, but then you went into it and now you're like but then you went into it and now you're like breaking up and now this kid. It's different than just, you know, having a normal child and going through a normal breakup. Now you're trying to explain to your child that has autism or Down syndrome or whatever your child may have. Explain to this child what is going on, and it's already hard enough just being this child having to think about. You know their parents broke up. Now they're dating someone and now these people are you know it's. I just can't even, I don't.
Speaker 2:That's like my biggest fear Like the last couple of years while the girls have been growing up is bringing somebody into their life. As a male father figure per se, I don't want them to get attached to somebody and then, like two years down the road it doesn't work out because, I mean, my mom dated. You know, my parents divorced when I was two and she dated and had long-term relationships, um, but you get attached to these men. So for me as an adult, I was like I'm not doing that, I will not do that to my kids. So I think that's made it a lot difficult for me too, because I won't just introduce, yeah, every and any guy I'm talking to, like they know, like I date or whatever, but you're not going to meet everybody I think my son met two yeah, two guys that I dated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 2:do you introduce your son?
Speaker 3:no, I don don't. What if another?
Speaker 2:girl has a same-age child and you're like, hey, let's go to the park.
Speaker 3:I feel like it takes on both where we both have to be okay with it and ready too, because at the same time, we got to see how serious we are into the relationship. Right, you know, we're just talking and getting to know each other. I don't think that's an appropriate time. And so it's actually you guys want to take that next step.
Speaker 1:Okay, but on the other side of that, you could take your child and her child and go somewhere, and if the kids got along, that would be an even bigger reason for you guys to try and do something. You know what I mean? You could go as friends, like, hey, let's just take the kids to the park and they could have some time together playing, as kids are going to play, and if your kids got along, that's just. You know, that's just another bonus.
Speaker 3:And I have. I have been through that where it's like, oh, we should take the kids out into the park, just have a little picnic and let them play. But I still get the same feedback. Oh, you know what? What? I don't just take any my kids around anybody, it's just at a certain time, which is understandable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I respect it I get both sides of it, though I don't want to get looked at like, oh well, you're willing to. It's not that I wanted to, just like you actually also got to see how they are with the kids and also how they feel comfortable around that person.
Speaker 1:But you have to make concessions because you have a child, these are, and so to me it doesn't sound someone saying that, oh, that's too much. I don't think that's too much. I think that's like we don't have to be doing anything. We can just sit and have lunch. That's two normal people do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I'm saying or it'd be like oh, I have a five-year-old yeah we're like, we know each other, so would it be?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're just two friends having lunch that could just see how your kids are getting along. I mean, yes, there may come feelings after that, but like, how else are you going to get out in the dating world if you have a child and you don't? You know, put that foot forward. And I do get both sides of it because I didn't want my son around anyone, but I didn't have that option to like. The guys that I was dating didn't have kids.
Speaker 3:So it was like you didn't have that option. Also, it's like there's times where I've asked like, hey, let's go hang out, let's go to a movie or something, and then they're like oh, you know what, I can't have a kid. I wish I could. And then I'll see them, like you know, post here on social media, or even like they're out somewhere they're saying like I wish I could go to the movies and get asked out and everything.
Speaker 3:It's like I just asked you, you get that, but you don't take the opportunity and you're like nah, I don't have a child, I don't have a child care, I don't know. I'm not ready say date.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know it's the proper way. You know old fashioned. I'll come home, old school, so I'll just say date.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to date, but I was going to hit that and I'm like, well, you can't find a sitter, and then they'll hit you with the I'll see, maybe I'll ask one of my family members. But then it's like you know the back of your head, they're not asking. You know, they're not taking the time to like, hey, you know, let me find uh well, that comes back to effort and it's like yeah.
Speaker 3:A lot of excuses and it's like if you see a man willing to take that time and opportunity, take you know he's actually into you. You know, cause that time that he's trying to give you he could give it to his kid or do something else. Right, you know. But he's actually um giving these signs that he wants to make time for you. Take you on a movie.
Speaker 1:You know they're gonna go get ice cream to the whole uh, he's, she's just not that into you thing. Does that make you feel like that?
Speaker 2:yes, I would think so too like yeah, you keep making. That's an excuse to me, um, and you're not really trying to put an effort, kind of put the sour taste in somebody's mouth and they're just going to back up and then and the same thing, how you said, like you also see them out like I.
Speaker 1:I see that a lot too like I feel like I saw that a lot see you like?
Speaker 3:I just asked you and then, as you know, they're like out and about with their friends, right?
Speaker 1:at a bar or doing whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like you're making yourself out there that you want to be in a relationship. You say these things, but your action shows different right see, and I feel, if there's a will, there's a way like you really want to do something like I'm gonna figure it the fuck out.
Speaker 1:If you want to, you will, or whatever the hell it was that you said consistency.
Speaker 2:You know, not everything is convenient.
Speaker 1:No, it's not. We live in a convenient age, yes, where things are more convenient than they were years ago, but there's so many other factors that go into it. Now you know what I mean. Like life was much simpler when I was younger. Now there's so many more things that go into it, but there's also so many more things that you could go. Do you know what I mean? So there's also so many more things that you could go. Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So there's there's, there's more options. Now I do have a like a question, like a topic thing yeah to ask um, because I know nosh has said something I know in that post um and I I've been single for six years. It's gonna be six years. Um, I'm rarely open, very social person. I'm really friendly, like I talk to everybody. I get along with a lot of people you know, so it's easy for me to like meet new people because I just I'm just a character, yeah he's part of my Raiders group.
Speaker 1:Oh so he met Bobby Jesus.
Speaker 2:He hasn't met her he hasn't been around this season yet. Oh wait, maybe I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Her name is Bobby Joe and one of the guys at the Raider group called her Bobby Jesus.
Speaker 2:She was at Straw Hat last year and Nikki was there too, but I don't know if you were there. But Raul, when he saw her at Club One he was like Bobby, jesus, and she's turned.
Speaker 1:I lost my shit because that's my uncle right there. Well, because she's very religious, so like yeah. So when he said that, I was like I couldn't stop laughing, and then now I just call her that yeah and she doesn't mind.
Speaker 3:So I'm very friendly, so I get along with a lot of people and I tend to, like you know, like I've been out of the dating game for a long time so I'm trying to get back in, but when I I guess I'm so friendly, a lot of people take it for flirting. Take it for flirting, but a lot of women not all women, but a lot of women just assume that you're just a hoe, a man's a hoe because you're talking to everybody, it's like, no's like, how am I being a hoe?
Speaker 3:Because I'm talking to everybody, getting along with everybody.
Speaker 2:Being social.
Speaker 3:Like, okay, if I talk to a woman, a female lady, and try to ask her on a date and she don't want to, then a while passes and then I see somebody else I'm interested in. So it goes like here and there.
Speaker 2:Same place, same location, same day? No.
Speaker 3:Same place, same location, same day. It's just like you talk to multiple people, but it's like not the same time. Yeah, you know you're trying to get back into dating. Yeah, but this person rejected you, so you just move on to the next. You have options. That's what you're supposed to do. I have options and I've been told I'm a hoe because I'm a man. I don't get, that'm single. How am I a hoe if I'm single and I can do whatever I want? I'm not in a relationship, I'm not tight on nobody.
Speaker 1:I have options because you're hooking up with people or because you're just asking people out, okay, and I for me, for me, that's insecurity on those women's part.
Speaker 2:I can agree Because you see me, I'm very social. I talk to everybody, it doesn't matter. You've seen me out. Does that make me a hoe for talking to everybody?
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm a grown ass woman If I want to do what I want to do, then I'm going to do what I want to do anyway. Suppose your friends are small and they're like if I'm talking to somebody, and then you know I go on with the next option, that person that person, I guess knows this other person and they're like oh, you know, he tried to talk to me too. Oh, that's crazy. He's trying to talk to me now. How am I supposed to know that? They know each other? But they're like oh well, he's being like. How is? How is that being?
Speaker 1:Oh, that you didn't, you didn't want to you didn't want to, but now you're letting this person oh well, he's talking to you supposed to get a date with someone if you don't try and like cast your net out wide to like get to the.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying like, yeah, that's him that's like oh well, you talk to, you try to talk to my friend, or so. So it's like how am I supposed to know that's your friend, right? And then, well, you didn't want to talk. So it's like why, you, why are you worried about it? See, and to me, as long as you didn't want to talk. So it's like why?
Speaker 1:are you worried about it? See, and to me, as long as you didn't sleep with them, then who cares?
Speaker 2:I would tell her well, don't snooze on me, like she did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, there was a point when the first thing I had to ask guys is do you know this person, this person or this person? Okay, did you sleep with them? Because that's where I draw the line, If you tried to talk to them, okay.
Speaker 3:whatever they didn't want to talk to you, that's on them. But unless you actually had some sort of intimate connection with them, I really don't care. And I feel like if you're being friendly and you could get along well with others, even if— Isn't that a good thing, my big friend group. It's a lot of girls, but I respect my friends and people take it like man. Why you out there like that? I like being a hoe, like how how am I being a hoe?
Speaker 1:because you're friendly, that's to say that that's not hoe behavior to me. I mean, I'm old school too, but that's not like. Being a hoe is like you're having sex with all these people.
Speaker 2:All right, so back on track, as we took a little quick break, maybe I can insert like a commercial there. Commercial break yeah, a commercial break. A little ad or something. Yeah, something, I was looking into that, by the way.
Speaker 1:So back to what we were saying Well, when you left, we were talking about like that. I think it's a red flag for girls to be telling him that he's acting like a hoe because he's someone's friend. For girls to be telling him that he's acting like a hoe because he's someone's friend than I was telling him because I'm a bartender, I have to be, you know, I have to be putting myself out there all the time, so, like I'm always, you know, when we go, oh, I work here, I work. You know, I work at Old Town. Come see me. Right, that's not me being a hoe, that's just me trying to get customers and trying to get people to come in and see me. So, like for him, you can be nice to people and not be a hoe.
Speaker 3:I feel like that's the wrong verb. They're just jealous, yeah, especially if you know the job and the environment you're getting yourself into. If that's not you and you're worried about other people, what are they going to call you? Or that you're too proud of your?
Speaker 1:don't, do that, don't do that type of work, yeah.
Speaker 3:But I mean, if you're in the bartending scene or any job that has to do with that, you have to, you know, be out there with a lot of people.
Speaker 1:It's hard because it's like a stigma, like the first thing I have to tell people when I start talking to them on like social media or like, let's say, on a dating website, what do you do? And then I have to say I'm a bartender.
Speaker 3:And then, of course, it's a stereotype, because every bartender is a hoe and I'm just like.
Speaker 1:No, I just literally that's my job, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, from what I know of you, frankie, you seem like you have to be more mature than you know, probably normal other guys your age. So, with that being said, you need to find a woman that's confident, secure, has stuff going on for herself, not these little girls out here at the bar, these little girls in the streets, even the older women that have also Ooh a little hoe bag.
Speaker 3:I mean I do have a little thing for older women.
Speaker 2:Well, I am 40, Frankie.
Speaker 3:I'm just joking. Age is a number, but some older women are not even mature, also for their age and it doesn't match their well, and that's again insecurity, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like that's very insecure. I I just I don't feel like there's a lot of really secure women out there that can come and just be like and that's what you need. You're going to need to find someone like that that's secure, that knows you know, like you just said, and that person's out there for sure. But you know, finding them is a whole nother ballgame.
Speaker 3:And you know what, and also, too, on some of those comments that Marge has said too, that women see men as like fuckboys, nicklings or whatever. Women see men as like fuckboys, nicklings or whatever. It's just those. Certain women are constantly back with their ex, back and forth, and those exes jump with somebody else and then they come back and still want to talk down on men. It's like, how are you talking down on men if you don't have your options open and you're still going back to the same person that's doing the same thing, constantly Toxic. You want to talk down on men when it's like the same person you're still with. Try somebody different, talk down on that man, but not all men.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know what? It gets me a little upset that a lot of women talk down on men a lot, a lot, and you don't see men out here really talking down on women a lot. I hear more women always, constantly, constantly just talking down on men and it's just wrong.
Speaker 2:It is. You know I've been in different. I'll just say my husband they're like looking back at things now because he's not here, and the way I did talk to him at times I'm like God, like I beat him up, you know, and was I wrong for some of the stuff that I nagged about or talk shit about? Probably not. It was the truth, but it was my approach and it probably made him feel this big, you know. So I don't think that, like, looking back, I regret some of that, but I was. You know, I was a lot younger and you learn with each situation that you're in. So I think that's important, like self-worth as well. You know we got to have self-worth and be confident in who we are as a person and if you're not, then really like, should you be dating? You know, what do you think, nikki?
Speaker 1:yeah, I agree, you talk about your ex-husband. I used to beat mine up a lot, but like not physically, but like, but also let me just preface this he deserved it. Okay, he was a meth addict both of my ex-husbands. So, like anything I gave them, they deserved, and they both were women abusers. They both put their hands on me. So anything that I said to them, I didn't care, because it came from a mean place, it came from anger. It came from anger, but it came from also being hurt, being pushed down, being spit on, having a gun pulled on me, like all the things that they did to me, and then trying to live with someone who was hiding from me the fact that they were doing meth.
Speaker 3:I see a lot of that stuff that you guys gone through. You guys carry that with you guys and it's not something easy to just let go and forget, because it's always going to be there, but I feel like it shouldn't be brought into the next person and it definitely isn't.
Speaker 1:Which is why I mean which is this? This is why it's funny because I didn't carry it into my second marriage. I ended up marrying the same person that I married the first time. The exact same person Beat me up, did meth, talked down to me, was a narcissist. So I've learned, you know, and I still am not angry about it, and I don't carry it into any relationships that I go into now, but that's just what I'm saying. Is that's proof that I didn't carry it from my first relationship into my second, because I allowed it in and married the exact same person the second time.
Speaker 2:Excuse me, you had a bad picker, yeah, no exactly so.
Speaker 1:Do I look at things differently now? Absolutely, but I'm not mad and I don't carry it into my relationship. But you're right, because there are women that do that and I know women like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And just because someone hurt you doesn't mean everyone's going to hurt you. Just because one guy was a meth addict and beat me up and was a narcissist doesn't mean the next one is it. Just you know. It just so happened that I married that same type of guy the second time.
Speaker 3:Like I fucking didn't learn my lesson. You know what? I know these people, that you know this couple that they've been together for five years and the girl she just constantly is like going back and forth with these issues that she has. And the dude is like constantly there, you know, like like telling her, hey, trying to, he's communicating with her, letting her know these issues, and then they just break it off, but yet she still wants him. And then he tells her what the issues are.
Speaker 1:She kind of like works on it, but then back to the same thing she works on it enough to get back in the relationship and I don't know how like you're.
Speaker 3:He's letting you know these issues. He's communicating with you and you're not listening. And you're still begging to be there. But why are you doing that when you're still going to keep being the same person Like?
Speaker 1:that's the people doing the same person like. That's the people doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. So your friend, the guy should probably find someone else it's been five years. I'm like I don't know I mean, I'm no therapist over here but I think people get complacent.
Speaker 2:You know they're just they're. You know it's easy. You know you already know what you're getting yourself into. You don't have to put in a whole lot of work, right? You know dating sucks. I mean, even like me going out on a first date, it's like what am I going to wear? You know you think about those things. I mean, as a man, do you think about those things?
Speaker 3:Like how it's going to go. Are we going to have good chemistry, are we going to have a good conversation? It's not going to be silent thinking about what to talk about. It's going to be awkward, it's nerve-wracking. It is nerve-wracking.
Speaker 1:I think, though and I just got done, I think I told you this yesterday and I told my son this yesterday. I think, though and I just got done, I think I told you this yesterday and I told my son this yesterday you get to an age where everybody has something Everybody, I don't care who you are. Something you do is going to make someone upset, even if that person loves the shit out of you, but you have to go in with what is it that I'm willing to accept, right, because there is nobody out there that is going to tick every single box you have. It just isn't. It's just not, it just isn't going to happen.
Speaker 1:Thanks for the reminder, nikki. What? Sorry? My son and his girlfriend are having problems, and he said she's very overbearing. He says I go to work and then I want to come home and I want to relax, and I'm like well, she goes to work too and works a pretty good job and probably wants to come home and relax too. So you've got to like, you know, and I think what's going on? I don't know, but I think what's going on is she's coming home and she's still doing stuff at home, and he's coming home and just he wants to play video games.
Speaker 1:He's like take off my clothes yeah, I'm gonna kick my shoes off, I'm gonna play some video games. I know my kid. You know what I mean. I love him. I know him, though, and he's probably thinking, fuck, whatever we're doing can wait till tomorrow. Well, she's probably like let's get it done now, and he considers that to be nagging. Is it okay? But then I told him look back at all the girls that you've dated and is this the worst thing? Maybe you should look within yourself and see, like do you really want to go out and like try this all over again, or is this something that you could just be like? You know what? It's not the worst thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what? I was married before I was married. I was married before I was married. But I was already at a point where I was already mature for my age, already knew what I wanted. So I was like, yeah, let's give it a try. You know, I was really falling in love with this girl and I was like, let's just do it, just make it happen. So I got married. A ring won't change a person. No, a ring won't change, it doesn't matter. A ring won't change a person. A ring won't change, it doesn't matter. A ring won't change a person. I would work 10 hours a day, come home and then get nagged at like, oh why do you take forever to get home? I was like I always let you know when I'm getting off of work and I tell you that there's traffic because everybody's getting off of work, they're trying to go home Right.
Speaker 3:But then it's like okay, I'm like, hey, you know, like, is there something to eat? Oh no, I'm just trying to cook something. It was just like that daily. So it's like you're nagging when I get home I don't want to do that.
Speaker 3:There's no fucking hot food, yeah, and then there's no fucking food. So I would have to go buy food and they're like oh, why are you taking clean? I'm doing everything. It's like man. I might as well just marry my dad. I could do anything a woman can do, but I do want a woman, emotionally and physically clean?
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But if I could do everything you know, what Someone has to come in your life and compliment you. Someone has to come in your life and be your equal. They can't come in your life and be overbearing or be underbearing whichever. However, if that's even a word, because neither one of those things are going to work, someone has to come in and be by your side and work. You know, and like you said earlier, if I, if one day I don't feel like cooking, maybe you cook and then tomorrow I cook If I don't feel like doing the laundry, then you cook and I'll do the laundry the next day.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But if you're constantly the one doing it, it doesn't work.
Speaker 3:It doesn't work for anyone. Also, like that person was not liked around my family, it was just constantly just no more chemistry there.
Speaker 1:And then they're like oh well you're always out on the boundary, you know what it's like. Is that a turn off when your family doesn't like them?
Speaker 3:yeah, and then I try to do things like oh, let's go out, let's go do this. And then they're like what time we're going home and it's like we're having a good time, we're bowling, we're out dancing and why was she concerned when you guys were going home? She just wanted to be home. She was just a homebody, I guess. Okay, so she didn't like to be around people. So I was like, okay, well then, if you don't like to go out, then I'm going to just go out and hang out.
Speaker 1:But then that was a problem.
Speaker 2:And then it was a problem like well, you're constantly going out.
Speaker 3:I'm like, I'm with my family, you know where I and you could have came. I was seen as the bad person, but she was doing the bad Right. She was cheating, she was talking to people behind my back.
Speaker 1:That's usually the way it works. I would catch her.
Speaker 3:And I was done because I still stood there. Even she broke up with me one night to go back with her ex and then my dumb ass was still there when I could have just left that, but I was still there. But I was the bad person in a relationship.
Speaker 1:Well, that's someone. What do they call that? When you're projecting, they're projecting things onto you when they're the ones doing it. So, yeah, and that's usually what cheaters do.
Speaker 2:Well, I would say to everybody don't settle for less, Don't settle for breadcrumbs.
Speaker 1:Don't settle for breadcrumbs, but also don't think that you're going to get, you know, a gold cake, because you're not.
Speaker 3:And you know what I've seen on TikTok a video where this guy he's asking questions, interviewing, like you know, just random people, and he asked this girl like would you date someone that lives at his mom's house? And she's like she said no's house. And she's like she said no. And then she's like wait, wait, first off it's she would, but then it has to be maybe he's maybe he's going through it and then you know he's not financially stable.
Speaker 3:He maybe lost his job or something and he's trying to get back on his feet. You know, like if he ain't doing nothing with his life, then no right but she may seem like clear, like like you know what I would. Yeah, you know, maybe he has some good reasons why he's living with his mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, is he sitting in the basement like playing fucking video games all day? No, the guy asked her, okay, so do you have your own place.
Speaker 3:She's like, yeah, so he goes, would you let him move in? She do everything. Yeah, why not?
Speaker 2:For sure, someone can pay half my bills, please, but I gotta like you. Oh, there's that. Yeah, there's that part. You know, or maybe we have different schedules? Wait, I work from home most of the time, that's not gonna work.
Speaker 1:Different schedules doesn't really work out either.
Speaker 2:No, I think it really boils down to with this whole situation is your self worth? I'm going to circle back around to that just because I feel that if somebody rejects you because they're not asking to get a sitter or they don't text or whatever, like it's just a redirection into something else. I feel like every time I've dated somebody, I learned something better about myself and that I can fix, because I I was shattered after losing my husband. So there's a lot of things about myself and dating that I've that have evolved, you know, as you're learning.
Speaker 2:I'm learning about myself and I've learned how to communicate and what I want and I don't want.
Speaker 3:In a way, it is hard for men to try to take that approach on women because it's easy for a woman to reject men, as men to reject women Because I could try to talk to somebody, like we go to the bar and I'm like you know what, I'm going to go talk to her it's easy to get rejected. It's easy. But if it was a woman trying to go to a man a man 99% they're not going to get rejected.
Speaker 2:See, and I think I'm a little too nice because if a guy tries to ask me for my number, I'm like yeah, here, I'll block you if anything, but like I don't.
Speaker 3:It's like things like that kind of puts men's self-esteem down. It's like you.
Speaker 1:You gain that opportunity, you open that door you open that door and embarrass him, yeah, but you open that door for him by giving your number and they're like she's doing him a favor over there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're doing everybody making it feel rejected.
Speaker 2:You're doing a disservice to him. So what am I supposed to do? If I'm not interested in somebody, tell him.
Speaker 3:Can I get your number? You can just tell him like hey, you know what, it's not like that. But I mean, we're just talking. We can just talk and hang out. You know, have a beer.
Speaker 1:I'm not really looking to be dating someone.
Speaker 3:But I'm always open to friendship.
Speaker 2:I'm going to try that next time, but when you?
Speaker 3:do get by your number. You're opening that door, that chance for that person, for that man. And then when?
Speaker 2:you block and they don't get. No, he's getting rejected.
Speaker 3:And that's what happens to a lot of men we get rejected and it sucks. It sucks and it brings us where women have expectations for men, but these men don't take that, because they don't want to feel rejected.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Nobody wants to feel rejected. I mean which?
Speaker 1:is why I don't walk up to men and ask say anything to them. I don't want to get rejected.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you guys hit it off when you guys are talking without giving your number right away, and you guys hit it off or something, then hey, you feel comfortable on giving your number. Yeah, but the man should also respect. Okay, you want to give your number, I respect it. Keep it that way.
Speaker 2:You can always give it on Instagram or something like that. Yeah, I'm like, here's my IG, follow me. There you go. But then I mean I should show you my DMs. It's fucking insane, you know. And like I'm nice because because, like, maybe some like I feel like sometimes maybe guys will DM and maybe they just want conversation or, you know, they have questions or whatever, and I don't always feel like it's they're trying to get at me and maybe there are people that listen and you know, whatever, like I'm, I communicate. If I have time, I'll answer your message. I have no problem with that.
Speaker 3:And then sometimes too, like there's men out there, there's some men out there that sometimes maybe they just don't want to get at you and they just want to talk.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, I need you to listen.
Speaker 3:I like to talk Like. Sometimes it's not about I'm hitting on you. It's like I see you by yourself, maybe, or you see me by myself hey, I see you by yourself, maybe. Or you see me by myself, hey, how are you doing, how's your day going? And it starts off like that. It's not always about hooking up or whatever. Sometimes somebody just wants to have a conversation and communicate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, we've talked about it before. We like to be mentally stimulated, like you can have an amazing intimate relationship with someone, but as soon as I'm not like mentally stimulated or it's repetitive in the relationship, I fall back. I need to like feed me.
Speaker 1:Let's elevate.
Speaker 2:Like I want to elevate, I want to be better than I was last year and I want someone to build with me and, like, maybe bring out qualities that I don't even know about.
Speaker 3:I remember something in a conversation that we had a while back when we were at the bar. You had talked about like you didn't want to build and someone to be matching your level, matching your energy, not just staying the same, because I feel like I do have a lot to offer and I do everything with both feet in.
Speaker 2:So I need somebody to be the same way so I can grow, and maybe there's things that they can do for me and there's things I could do for them that they don't like to do, or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:I want a team player, is what I want Batter up Someone that picks up the slack, and then you pick up their slack.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's effort, it's no effort.
Speaker 3:And vice versa. Don't hold accountability what your past done for your future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely don't take that. And I think in the beginning, after losing Russ, people were like you can't compare, you can't compare. And I think I was. Maybe in the beginning I was looking for certain things because I knew what I wanted and didn't want, right, but now, like nobody's ever like I know, like nobody's ever going to replace him, but there is certain qualities that he had that I really admired. So I do want those because he was definitely a go getter, like I need a hustler, somebody that's willing.
Speaker 1:Well, because you're a hustler, yeah, yeah, you wouldn't want someone that wasn't a hustler Like that's me. You know what I'm saying? Like I dated this guy that was like he acted like he was a hustler, but like he really wasn't a hustler. And now he's like he's married to someone else that I know and I feel like she wears the pants in the family, she does all the things and I'm like this is exactly why I never wanted to marry him, or vice versa.
Speaker 3:I'm like this is exactly why I never wanted to marry him, or vice versa. You can always change this person and then this person becomes a hustler with you.
Speaker 2:Right, but there has to be something there. But they have to have that mentality too Ambition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you cannot give someone ambition.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like loyalty in my eyes. It's like either you're born with it or you're not. Yeah, because you can love me all you want, but like there's been, I mean, I'm pretty much friends with everybody that I've ever became friends with. I think there's like one or two people in my life that I absolutely will not talk to, but I need you know. I need to know that, like you got me at the end of the day, because you can love me and cheat on me, I'd rather have loyalty all day.
Speaker 2:You need to secure, yeah, and I'm so afraid of being hurt because I was shattered, so that's I have trust issues with that, and so the man that does come into my life is going to have to reassure me, but also not too much reassure me, because it's going to I don't want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like such a fine line it is Do you guys such? A fine line for Amber.
Speaker 3:Do you guys believe in opposite attracts?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:You guys do. Yeah, I feel like I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I feel like I need another me.
Speaker 1:And I don't mean like, how can I say this?
Speaker 3:I feel like you guys are just going to bump heads and not kind of agree on a lot of things.
Speaker 1:I this, I feel like it's going to bump heads and I can't agree on a lot of things. I'm just going to stay like that. Well, here's the thing also with my two exes. I'm a Taurus, they were both Tauruses. My second ex-husband we were born on the exact same day, the exact same year. We did not get along because we were too much alike. So there has to be some things that because if you get someone that's too much like you, it's almost like looking in a mirror and you're going to see everything and there may be things that you don't want to see.
Speaker 2:Well, that's why you need somebody to pick up the slack Right.
Speaker 1:But that's why I'm saying they kind of have to not be like too, you know, with you but a little opposition Because's also you can attest to this. That's also what's attractive about a man is when they don't let you have your way every single time.
Speaker 2:that's fucking boring yeah, yeah, I'm like give me some pushback, don't just be a yes guy you know I want, like I don't want to wear the pants.
Speaker 3:Even if the woman wants to be like I wear the pants or like what I say, nah, it ain't. No, it can't be that way.
Speaker 2:My dad says she wears the pants because I gave them to her. Well, I'm fucking tired of wearing the fucking pants, yeah.
Speaker 3:Why do you think she's wearing the dress today?
Speaker 1:Ten years in, I'm a little tired of wearing those pants myself.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh, that's so funny. Okay. So I'm going to lighten it up a little bit and I am going to ask you a question, frankie. So, on a scale of one to ten, how dramatic are you when you get a cold? Be honest, do you turn into a man baby?
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I'm not I feel like he doesn't have time for that because he has a child. You know what I'm saying? He's like I got to get out of here?
Speaker 3:I don't know I mean sometimes you do want that little affection and you just, you know, you just want to be cuddly and everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But it's not. But at the end of the day, you got shit to do, you got a kid to raise, so you don't have time to lay around and be a man baby. So it's like. But even if I wanted to, I feel like I don't know, I just can't.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:I can't just. I mean, I like to cuddle and be like baby, but I mean that's if my partner was doing that on her own.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know also.
Speaker 3:But I wouldn't do it myself.
Speaker 1:But if you were sick? Are you like a big baby when you're sick? I think is the question yeah, yeah. And so I have a question yes, what sign are you?
Speaker 3:I'm a Gemini.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know that. I should know that, because I think I remember you saying you were a Gemini. Well, because I was going to ask if you do you care about Gemini. Do you care about Gemini? Do you care about Zodiac signs? Like, do you think anything of it? Like, do you know what your, what your sign is that you should be attracted to?
Speaker 3:Do you know what your like.
Speaker 1:Your partner should like. My partner should be a, I think a Cancer or a Capricorn. I think we're Sagittarius.
Speaker 3:I know I looked it up. I looked it up before.
Speaker 1:Does the zodiac sign play any part in your dating and, like the people that you surround yourself with?
Speaker 3:You know, honestly, I don't even focus on the zodiac signs and then when people ask me about the zodiac signs, I'm like who pays attention to this?
Speaker 1:thing I do, I wouldn't know Like. I'm like, oh, what are you?
Speaker 3:And they're like oh my God, they and Gemini, they're horrible.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'm not horrible, though it doesn't mean every Gemini is horrible. Hey, we're the best, we are the best.
Speaker 2:No, you're not. Yeah, we are.
Speaker 1:Every time, every time I'm like oh, what are you? A Gemini and Scorpio, my dad's a Scorpio. But those are like the evil signs. You know what I mean. I'm not saying anything about you two, because I love Amber. She is like a light. I love her. To me she's not a Gemini, but to her she's a true Gemini. But I'm a, I'm bullheaded, I'm all these things right.
Speaker 3:That's why I tell people I'm a Gemini, but I'm not the Gemini that you guys think of.
Speaker 1:Right, exactly, so the first thing people think of when they think of signs that are bad are Scorpios and Geminis.
Speaker 3:From other standpoint, of the zodiac sign. All I know is I know Scorpios are freaks.
Speaker 1:Maybe not all of them. You know something about Scorpios.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go to the horoscope today because I want to know what my horoscope. I don't really like look at this stuff. I mean, I have an app on my phone, but Is there something wrong with somebody being a? Mad baby For me. I'm like fucking suck it up Like I don't know. Okay, so here's the story.
Speaker 3:So you won't be like out of your own way, like he's just laying there watching TV trying to feel better. You know he's just relaxing. You don't just come up and, like you know, cuddly with him.
Speaker 2:No, I'll take, I'll give you medicine and stuff like that. But if you're like overdramatic, I'm like we ain't doing that. So I have a. He lived in we'll just say Modesto. He worked in the Bay Area, so he was already commuting and I was like sleeping, he's like blown at my phone because he's like, oh, like, I'll bring you medicine or whatever. So I wake up to these text messages saying I'm on my way to your house and I'm like what the fuck? Like you can't just show up to my house. And I was like I was pissed off and all he was trying to do was do something nice and we're still friends. And so, like I told him, I said that really irked me that you just like showed up.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I don't want anyone coming to my house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I'm sick because now you've already like drove all this way way.
Speaker 2:So, like you're not, I feel obligated I feel obligated to like stay awake or like whatever. But in his mind he was like, well, I'm just trying to take care of you. Well, fucking door dash, that shit. I mean, was there a door dash? And so even like I know I'm totally wrong for feeling that way, because all my friends are like you're fucking cold, like that's fucked up like it's understandable, you want the door dash, but it's kind of a little fucked up.
Speaker 3:Like you know, he's trying to go on his way to, like you know, maybe pop up and do a little surprise, Like I brought your medicine. It's the thought that counts.
Speaker 1:I don't want nobody surprising me at my house, and especially when I'm sick.
Speaker 2:Like if you lived in town, it you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But he drove all the way from another fucking town.
Speaker 3:I would have just left that shit in front of the doorstep and checked outside.
Speaker 2:I was nice while he was there, but you let him in. Yeah, I did. You know what I mean. So good, Nah, I'm just kidding he was. Yeah, he's still on my friends list. I wouldn't have let him in. But yeah, and I've known him since I was a teenager.
Speaker 1:Also, what if you were contagious?
Speaker 2:I don't think he cared. He was like come here girl.
Speaker 1:People, no wonder.
Speaker 2:COVID ran rampant, but no, I look back and I'm like that is we're going to get sick together and I'll stay with you until we get better.
Speaker 3:That was, oh hell.
Speaker 2:No, it was super mean of me to think of that, but that just goes to show you, like, how independent I am. I'm like if I need something, like I'll get it, you know, so I should probably. I'm going to bring that up to him.
Speaker 3:It's always the thought that counts sometimes.
Speaker 2:It is, and I told him. Because after he did that like I really kind of backed away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, there's a point where it's overdoing it and just like, oh, but then it's like man, really.
Speaker 2:But you're an hour away, like now. I got to entertain you. Like that's not cool, okay. So Gemini horoscope for today. Someone may be disagreeing with you over a decision that you see as completely logical and obvious. Well, they argue about it. You may be trying to convey how reasonable your decision is. This may not be an issue of the other person's understanding. However. It may be more about a power struggle and trying to outlast you by refusing to give in. If that's the case, it might help to demonstrate the alternate scenarios that could occur if they do not get on the board. Be honest and fair, but factual there. Well, gemini's are right my way or the highway. So get on board, motherfuckers.
Speaker 3:Like stop being so soft sometimes.
Speaker 2:I want to be like. I want to be like soft girl era. I really would like to have that.
Speaker 3:I was just talking to my dad. You know what I don't see like when I hear oh, princess, treatment this, and that I'm like girl, you don't even act like a princess, so why would I treat you like a princess? I'm going to treat you like a thug, yeah.
Speaker 2:You act like a man sometimes.
Speaker 2:No, I saw somebody posted it and I actually I was like I like this comment it's somebody, I don't even know who, I can't even pull it up but it said something about like women that call themselves boss bitches is like hella immature. And I'm like when I read it I was like like do I really want to be a boss bitch? Like yeah, like I know I'm a badass, like yeah, I know I'm a badass, like I know I can take care of everything. But maybe when I read it I was like maybe, I don't want to be a boss bitch, you know Like.
Speaker 2:I'm not a side piece, I'm not any of that.
Speaker 3:No, you're classy sassy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, classy sassy, I feel like that's a younger person, because Cody calls me that all the time. You're a boss bitch, mom, that's what she says.
Speaker 3:So I'm classy and sassy.
Speaker 2:I'm hey, I got that Stanford voice but I will thug it out all day. Thug life, thug life. No, but you know, I want to have, I want to be in the soft girl era, but it's going to take somebody special yeah so good luck yeah same what about Taurus?
Speaker 3:what's Taurus day?
Speaker 1:oh, my thing today. I just read it Good luck, yeah same.
Speaker 2:What about Taurus? What's Taurus day? Oh my thing today.
Speaker 1:I just read it and you laughed about it. Well, it says you have lots of energy at your disposal today, taurus, but it's erratic and powerful. You have the stamina to make major changes and the opportunity to break free from any restrictions that hold you back. Embrace the new, fresh aspects of your life that ring true to your freedom-loving nature. Give your soul room to breathe as you take a long walk in nature this afternoon.
Speaker 2:Well, you were trying to do a walk this week.
Speaker 1:I was trying to do a walk with you bitch.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm busy, I'm busy.
Speaker 1:Sorry, it wasn't a problem. Here's an excuse.
Speaker 2:Here's an excuse.
Speaker 1:What did I have? I had something I tried to tell her and I tried to tell Cody this If you go outside and you take a walk not in town got to go up to the mountains, you got to go up someplace where it's pretty and there's some creeks, there's some places that I know the San Joaquin Gorge it makes you feel grounded and I know like people say that, but you really really do take a minute to breathe in nature, breathe it in, take a look around you, be grateful for where you are, be grateful for what you have, and when you stand out there in that nothingness and look around at everything around you, it really, really makes you think about all the good things that you have.
Speaker 2:I think so. Even when we went up to Kirkhof it was nice just to be out on the water and paddleboard.
Speaker 1:But you know, I've been funky lately, so that's why I'm trying to get myself to someplace where I know I'm going to be feeling better. So, with that being said, it's time for us to wrap this up. Yes, yes, yes. We'd like to thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me A little insight from a man, a little insight from a single father.
Speaker 2:At that, yes, and we got to meet your little man over here.
Speaker 1:Yes, he's super interested in that phone. Yes, he doesn't even know we're talking about it.
Speaker 3:Hopefully you guys could have me back soon.
Speaker 2:Yes, we'll get some more topics going. So this was totally last minute. Usually we plan like a week in advance and we're like, let's just go. And then I posted about that. I was like should I save? I was like, should I save? Yeah, you sent your message this morning.
Speaker 3:I was like should I save? I was like, nah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:You got scared and then I called him.
Speaker 3:I asked him. I was like what do you think? He was like you should do it because you have good conversations, you have a lot to talk about, and I'm like I hey, you know what, I'm gonna turn down an opportunity like that.
Speaker 1:I'm let's go, let's do it yeah, yeah, my daughter's wife did it and she was all nervous, like you, and then by the end of it she was just talking.
Speaker 3:I was sweating, but now I'm fresh. Let's go well, that's.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's just kind of how it goes, like I caught him off guard, you know, and I was like, just bring your son, it's fine. Fine, but you were supposed to be here today, because really somebody else was supposed to be here and they couldn't make it. And you said, yes, yeah, meant to be. Yep, it was meant to be so. Thank you, frankie. Yes, thank you, I hope to see you this season during football.
Speaker 3:Oh man, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see yeah. Yeah, all right, been out for a minute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you've been out for a minute, but that's all right. All right With that, we're going to say roger that, roger that, roger that. Thank you, thank you.
